Returning Home Tour '08
by Mrs.Scott323
Summary: She didn't do this, not anymore anyway." Lufus
1. Hartford

**_So.. I told Jess (_crazy-prune_) I'd write a new L/R fic, and here it (finally) is! It's not that interesting, just yet, but I had to establish the scene and surroundings._**

**_For Jess, the other half of our J2 :) Hope you read it before you leave for your holiday!_**

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**Returning Home Tour of '08**

She knew she shouldn't be doing this, Lily van der Woodsen-Bass was a happily married woman with a very busy schedule. She didn't take road trips that lasted the entire weekend just to see a band perform.

Not anymore anyway.

But on this weekend in June she found herself on the road, away from New York. She did not know what convinced her to get into this car and drive off to see him again. She'd had that feeling before and she never used to give into it. But now, things were different, or so she told herself. When she got the call from her husband, telling her that he'd be gone for the next three days she'd decided on an impulse to drive off to Hartford.

Lily turned on the radio, trying to find anything to calm her nerves.

After a few classical and jazzy tunes she finally settled on a song by Jane's Addiction. She supposed she should be glad, with her luck it just as well could've been Lincoln Hawk on every other station. Now, she drifted off to different memories, back to the time she didn't even know Rufus.

--

_18 year old Lily Rhodes slammed the door shut. Angrily she turned up the volume of her radio._

"_Come back here young lady, we haven't finished our conversation just yet." _

_Lily glared at the door, or more specific, at the woman behind it._

_Ever since she could remember her mother had been controlling her life, making decisions for her, not letting her be a teenager. Modelling her to become the perfect society wife. Finally, Lily had had enough._

_For the first time in her life she'd stood by her own ideas. She didn't' want to study history or English and marry right out of college, she wanted to make something of herself, doing the thing she loved the most. Photography._

_Needless to say, her mother hadn't liked her idea and they was the reason why the woman was screaming outside the door this exact moment._

_Lily turned the volume a notch. It was just enough to block her mother's voice out, but not enough to permanently damage her eardrums. _

_She sat down on her bed, looking at the camera on her desk. Maybe her mother did have a point, how would she be able to support herself with her photographs? Her trust fund didn't kick in until she was 25 and if her mother had her way, she wouldn't get it at all if she didn't follow The Plan. There had to be a way to make enough money with her photographs._

"_And that was Jane's Addiction with their latest song. The band is performing in New York tonight, there are still a few tickets available, so if you want to go, you better hurry!" _

_If real life was a comic, there would've been a light bulb on above her head. It was the perfect plan, magazines paid for pictures of bands and other celebrities, maybe she could work for one. But no one would hire a teenage, she just had to prove that she was good enough. It was her ticket to freedom, and she wasn't going to miss this opportunity._

--

Oh how naïve she'd been back then, thinking that everything would just fall in to place. Especially at the beginning, she'd never felt more alone, but after a few performances, she'd wondered off backstage and made friends with the crew, and later, the bands. Sometimes she tagged along to a few gigs, but most of the time she'd just went to see another band. In the second half of 1987 she'd made many friends, in many different places. More than she could ever imagine. One of those friends had been Rufus, he'd been one of the few men that turned from friend to lover. And to be honest, he was the only one that had stolen her heart.

And bam, he'd sneaked his way back into her mind again, she was glad she'd finally arrived at the hotel, because after tonight's Lincoln Hawk show, she'd leave and never think about Rufus ever again. All she had to do was wait, she settled herself in her hotel room, and headed for the hotel bar right after. There was only one way she'd be able to get through this night, Dutch courage.

Slightly intoxicated she walked into the darkened room, on stage the roadies were doing a last sound check, and she knew from experience that he was doing the very same thing with his own guitar.

He never trusted anyone else to do the last check.

She hid herself in the darkest and furthest corner of the room, tonight, she didn't even have her camera to hide behind. She just had to make sure he wouldn't find her in the crowd. But looking at the number of people that were walking though the double doors, that wouldn't be a problem. She hoped.

Her thoughts were interrupted when all the lights went out and the announcer took the stage.

"This New York based band was in the top 10 of forgotten bands of the 90s. Lets show them that we haven't forgotten about them. Give it up for Lincoln Hawk!"

The enthusiastic cheers of the crowd brought a smile to her face, one that didn't leave her face when she recognised the first song they played.

Rosewood, even after all these years he still opened their concerts with the song. It was the last song he ever wrote for her. Sometime after she left. He'd sent a tape of it to her house, and she'd kept it playing all day long for the next three weeks. This was actually the first time that she heard him play it in person, and somehow that made her listen and watch even more intensely.

Her eyes never left his face, she could've burned holes in his head by now. His eyes travelled over the crowd. She turned her head slightly so that her face was hidden in the shadows. The singing stopped for a moment, a guitar solo filled the room. Lily couldn't help but take a small peak over her shoulder, just to check if he really hadn't noticed her.

"What are you doing here?"


	2. Hartford part 2

**_Jess asked, and how could I disappoint?_**

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Chapter 2: Hartford, part 2

Lily threw back a small bottle right after she grabbed it out of the mini bar. She hadn't even looked to see what it was. Whatever it had been, she could feel the alcohol burn it's way through her throat, leaving a bitter aftertaste in her mouth. Just what she needed after the meeting she had tonight.

Maybe she should've walked away when she still had the chance. Turned that car around before she even reached the exit, stayed in her hotel room in the first place. It all didn't matter anymore.

The only thing she could comfort herself with was the fact that _he_ hadn't seen her, not tonight.

--

"_What are you doing here?" _

"I'm just here to enjoy the music, not that I need to explain myself to you." Lily turned her head back to the stage.

"You want him back, don't you." Lilly let out an irritated sigh.

" Weren't you supposed to be in Hudson?"

"You didn't answer my question." Lily raised her hand, in front of her face, letting the back of her hand, with the sparkling ring on the fourth finger show to the person opposite her.

"Do you see this ring Alison? Do you have any idea what it means?" The woman tried to reply but Lily cut her off. "Oh that's right you don't! Sorry, I forgot." The sarcasm dripped from her voice.

The blonde in front of her snorted and pushed the hand away. " Like that ever meant anything to you before either. I know you Lily van der Woodsen."

" Bass, van der Woodsen-Bass."

Alison gave her a sickeningly sweet smile, well it made her sick anyway.

"So you married. Again."

Just this once Lily decided not to answer the comment. Not wanting to waste her energy on a woman she didn't want to talk to in the first place. She downed her drink and simply walked away. Heading for another dark corner to hide in. There was no chance in hell that Alison could chase her away. Not this time.

--

Between staying away from Alison and trying to avoid Rufus' gaze she hadn't enjoyed her night out just as much as she'd wanted. Not that she'd expected much of it, of course. But still, it was a little disappointing.

She grabbed in the mini bar again, and pulled it back when she realised there was no liquor left in the fridge, the only thing left was bottled water. And that wasn't going to do it.

Maybe the bar on the ground floor could provide her need for alcohol. Slightly stumbling she made her way to the elevator. Before she even got there, the doors started to slide open and she heard a familiar masculine laugh. Quickly she dove towards the door to the stairwell, hiding behind it until Rufus and a few band members passed by.

Lily let out a relieved sigh, glad she'd avoided a disaster waiting to happen. Taking a small peek in the hallway she noticed that they'd apparently found their room. Finally she could continue her path to the bar. She hurried inside the elevator and kept pushing the buttons until the doors finally closed. Suddenly a hand appeared between the doors.

"Wait! I've forgotten something in the bar."

The doors opened again and the man stepped inside, he reached for the right button but he noticed that it was already lit. He turned around and smiled at the woman behind him. Lily smiled back, a little forced smile. Then he looked over his shoulder again.

"Well I'll be damned. Tiger Lily!"

"Simon, how many times do I have to tell you to stop calling me that!"

The man grinned. "Once more, as usual."

"It's good to see you." The two embraced. "How many years has it been?"

"Oh I don't even remember. How have you been doing Simon?"

" You know, touring, got married, had a child."

Lily gasped. " You got married? Which woman was crazy enough to tie the knot with you?"

"Someone you might remember."

"Who?" Lily thought back for a second. "Tell me it wasn't Anna."

"Sorry to disappoint you."

"Ha I knew it! I told her!"

"So how have you been Lily? I heard you had two kids? And that your daughter was dating Rufus' son? Sounds a little like deja-vu doesn't it."

The smile disappeared from Lily's face. "Yes, well. As long as they're happy. And Dan seems to be good for Serena."

Simon looked at her noticing the troubled look on her face. Suddenly he thought of something.

"Does Rufus know you're here?"

Lily's head shot up. "He doesn't and you're not telling him."

"Why?"

"Just do me a favour."

"Alright, everything for my Tiger Lily."

Lily's voice got a little threatening "Simon.."

The two continued their evening down in the bar. Catching up on all those years and remembering all the great memories they had together. Time seemed to pass very quickly and it was heading in the early hours of the morning when they returned back to their rooms.

"Give me a call when you're in New York."

Simon smiled. "I will. And we're playing in New Haven next week so if you have some time."

Lily returned his smile. "I'll see what I can do. Good night Simon." After she closed the door Simon replied.

"Night Tiger Lily."

"I heard that!"


	3. New Haven

**_So, for the really long wait I wrote an extra long chapter. And I hope you like it!_**

**_oh and the song I used was Josh Ritter's Lillian Egypt and it's not mine (but it's still a brilliant song!)_**

**_Enjoy and please review :)_**

**Chapter 3: New Haven**

The entire week she'd been doubting whether she should go or not. Mentally she'd made several pro/con lists. Every single one had turned out with more cons than pro's, but she'd gone either way. Giving Bart the excuse that her mother needed her she'd left the city behind, again. This time, for a dark bar somewhere in New Haven. She was glad she'd taken a cab this time, she never would've found it on her own.

But outside, she thought she recognized the outside of the bar.

" 'O Malleys. Not a place for a classy lady like you, if I may say so."

She threw the cab driver a glare and handed him some money. Quickly she left the car, glad to be rid of her nosy cabdriver. On her way back, she'd make sure that she had a different kind of transportation.

The old fashioned bell tinkled as she closed the door behind her. It was already pretty crowded in the bar, and she was glad that she'd once again decided to shot up a little late. That way there was a smaller chance of running into familiar people. Her first stop inside was the bar itself.

"Hi, can I get a drink?"

"Sure, let me guess, Scotch wasn't it?" The man smiled knowingly and reached for a bottle on his right. Lily looked at him in astonishment, how did he know that she was planning to order that very drink? It's not exactly something women usually drink. His voice and the hand placing the drink in front of her snapped her out of her thoughts.

" I see you left your camera at home, so you're not taking pictures this time?"

Then it all finally clicked. She _had _been here before. This was the same bar she'd taken that picture in. The picture everyone saw as the iconic picture of Lincoln Hawk. She gave the man behind the bar a smile.

" No, not this time."

"Tiger Lily is that you?

She turned around to tell whoever it was to stop calling her by that name. But when she saw the redhead behind her she hugged the other woman close. So much for not running into familiar faces.

"Anna-belle! How have you been?"

"Good, good. And how about you, last time I checked you married some big shot billionaire. What are you doing here?"

"Following the music." Lily winked at her friend. So much time had passed since they'd last seen each other, but it still felt like yeserday. Remember the feeling when you saw someone for the first time in ages and so much has happened that you don't even know what to tell them, and you'd end up in some kind of uncomfortable silence? Well, they were one of the few people who never had that problem.

"So I think I owe you an 'I told you so'." Lily grinned at her friend who looked confused for a moment, not knowing what Lily was talking about. Then her face lit up and she nodded, the old sparkle back in her eyes.

"Don't remind me."

"How long did it take the two of you to get your stubborn heads together and get things right?"

"Actually it was about a month after you..left." Anna saw the look on her friends face, apparently it was still a sore subject to her, even after all these years.

"And why didn't I get a wedding invitation?"

"We sort of eloped about five years after that." Then she changed the subject. "Come on, you said you were following the music again, let's go!" Anna pulled her friend through the crowd, right to a spot in front of the stage. Then danced just like they did all those years ago. It might've looked a little strange, two forty-year olds dancing and having fun like teenagers but they didn't care. It didn't take too long for the band to notice them, their biggest -and oldest- fans. Simon smiled down at his wife. He knew she'd missed her friend a lot. Somehow they'd never found the time to keep in touch. But now, they were together again and it felt like twenty something years ago. He looked to his left, Rufus had noticed the two too. And it surprised him that he still knew what to sing. His gaze seemed to be locked on the woman in front of the stage, fixed on her blond hair, dancing around with her friend.

Simon finally nudged him and the two shared a knowing look. He shifted his gaze to the other band members, they nodded at him. It was time.

When the band started their new song Lilly and Anna grinned at each other and turned to the stage. They were playing their song. The one Rufus, Simon, Jake and Sam had written for them, their self proclaimed 'biggest fans'.

Next to her, Anna was singing along from the top of her lungs, Lily silently sang along with her, she looked at the stage again, where her former lover was singing. His eyes caught hers, and just this once she didn't look away. He continued to sing the song, his gaze frimly locked with hers. Just like it used to.

_I remember back in Illinois I found her _

_The lily of the valley the lily of the West was a rose _

_The daughter of the biggest big town banker _

_He kept her like a princess I stole her like the Fort Knox gold_

With the last series of la da da's the set ended, and the band left the stage. One of the rainy nights on tour the song had been created from the crazy stories Lily and Anna used to make up during those nights. The stories they told about their backgrounds, their very own fairy tales.

"Do you want to go backstage? Say hi?"

"No." Lily's answer was firm. "I'll talk to Simon and the others later."

"And Rufus?"

Lily hesitated. "I don't want to talk to him."

"Okay." Anna knew better than to question her friends decision. She knew she'd tell her sooner or later.

"So how are Serena and Eric?'

"Growing up, very fast."

"And I heard Serena is turning out to be a chip off the old block."

Lily didn't stop the smile from forming on her face, proud of her daughter, even after all the mistakes she'd made in the past.

"Yes, well, unfortunately that goes for the good and the bad."

"I just hope her boyfriend isn't in a band."

"Simon didn't tell you I take it. Her boyfriend is Rufus' son Dan."

"Well that makes everything much easier."

A few feet away from them, Lily spotted a familiar mop of dark hair. She ducked behind her friend, who gave her a very strange look.

"Quick, hide me." Anna pushed Lily back into the crowd and turned around, trying to find the person who got her to act this way.

Rufus, she should've known. She put her brightest smile on and hugged him excitedly.

"You guys were great! I can't even remember the last time I heard you sing Lillian Egypt!"

"It seemed like the perfect song at the moment." Rufus smiled but quickly averted his gaze, trying to find Lily in the mass of people. When he couldn't see her, decided to ask Anna instead.

"So, where's Lily?"

Anna stood on her toes, pretending to search through the crowd. "I'm not sure, she's supposed to be getting us drinks, so you might find her at the bar. That's where I found her the last time."

Rufus nodded gratefully and turned to crawl his way to the bar. Anna watched him until she felt two arms curl around her waist.

"So you got rid of one of your admirers I see?"

"You might not want to do that, my husband will find me any second now."

"Really, sounds like a smart man. Not leaving his wife alone for long."

Anna shrugged. " I just keep him for his looks."

She got turned around in the mans arms.

"Glad to know I'm useful for something" Simon replied in mock hurt as he put a sad puppy dog face on.

"Aww, poor baby, you want me to kiss it better?"

He nodded and pointed toward his lips, she happily obliged and kissed her husband.

"God the two of you are so sweet together, I almost wish I never told you how great you'd be together." Lily smiled at her two friends.

"I just wanted to tell you that I'm heading back, Bart just called, his last meeting was cancelled and he asked if I could come home too. So.."

Anna released herself from her husband's arms and hugged her friend.

"I'm coming over for a visit soon."

"You better." And with a last wave goodbye, Lily stepped outside. There, in front of the bar, with his back turned to her was Rufus, the one person she'd successfully avoided the entire night. Lily hid awat in the shadows but couldn't help to catch a few sentences from his phone conversation.

"I'll be back tomorrow. Why don't we have dinner together."

"No, Dan and Jenny won't be there."

"I'll see you at seven"

"I miss you too."

"Bye."

The conversation immediately sobered Lily up. Rufus was dating again? Who? What? When? It probably wasn't something that she should concern herself with but she couldn't help to think about it the entire way home. And in the back of the cab she groaned.

"_I knew this was a bad idea. Why didn't I just stay at home."_


	4. Saya Lida part 1

**_Finally, a new chapter! From now on, I'm going to post my new Gossip Girl stories in the tv/Gossip Girl section. but this one is staying here just to avoid confusion._**

**_And if you're interested. in a day or two I'm going to post a slightly post episode 2x13 fic. about Lily and Rufus (of course) over there._**

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**Chapter 4: Saya Lida part 1**

"Thank you everybody! It was good to be back here!"

Rufus, Simon, Sam and Jake walked off the stage, it had only been the first set but the crowd really seemed to enjoy themselves tonight.

"Hey Dad!" it sounded from two voices, Rufus turned around and saw his kids standing right behind them.

"What are you two doing here, shouldn't you be with your mom in Hudson?"

Jenny hesitated, "well, we decided we'd rather come and see you if that's okay. Dan called mom and she said she'd be happy to switch weekends with you."

"But where will you be staying, it's not like I can take you with me on the tour bus again."

Dan interrupted his father, "We already found a place to stay, it's a hotel called Sunset, just outside the town."

"Fine, but.."

"Dan, Jenny." Before Rufus could finish his sentence, his kids were hugged by his friends, who were asking them question after question. Catching up on their lives.

The fifteen minutes they had between the set really passed by too quickly for them, after agreeing to talk after their last set Dan and Jenny went back to the crowd. Watching their father's band was nice from backstage, but the atmosphere of the crowd was so much better.

Suddenly Dan felt two arms hugging him from behind. He was startled for a moment before he turned around, but before he could explain to the person behind him that he already had a girlfriend he noticed that he was looking in the eyes of his beautiful girlfriend instead.

"What are you doing here?'

"Eric really wanted to see Lincoln Hawk, he didn't want to be the only van der Woodsen that hadn't seen them yet. And since Bart and Mom were out of town, it seemed like the perfect opportunity."

Dan looked to the side where Eric was explaining the very same thing to Jenny. The four teenagers continued talking until the first chords of the next song began again.

–-

Lily sighed as she looked out the window, tonight was the night Lincoln Hawk would be playing in Saya Lida again, the fisherman's town with all those memories.

Good ones, but embarrassing ones too.

Bart had taken her another town on the West Coast, about an hour driving away from Saya Lida, he had a meeting here. With whom she wasn't sure but he'd been in meetings the entire weekend and she was beginning to doubt coming along in the first place. It was supposed to be a weekend for the two of them after the two meetings he would have to attend. But those two turned out to be four and here she found herself for the second night in a row looking out over the water in a town she really didn't want to be in right now.

She gazed into the water, her thoughts miles away. To a place not so far away, but also a time that was more than just a few years ago..

"_Rufus I'm not doing this."_

"_Come on Lil, live a little."_

"_Forget it, I'm going inside." Lily turned around and started to head back inside, her strappy sandals dangling from her hand._

"_Fine. Wimp." Rufus grinned as she turned around. He knew that that would get to her._

"_What did you just call me?"_

"_You heard me, I called you a__wimp."_

_Lily walked back over to him, her eyes blazing. _

"_I'll show you who's the wimp." And she pushed him back, he tripped over his own feet and stumbled backwards, right into the pool._

_Lilly lifted her shirt over head head and undressed further until she stood naked on the side of the pool. Rufus was still in it, watching her. He never could take his eyes off her when she undressed herself._

_With a silly smiled she jumped in the pool. Shrieking as she made contact with the cold water. Rufus swam over to her and hugged her close as some kind of body heat sharing. She pushed his head under water and he stayed down there. She tried to see what he was doing but the lack of light made it very difficult. Suddenly she felt a pair of hands on her legs, pulling her down. Her scream was shushed by the water as she swallowed quite a bit of it._

_Then, the light in the villa was turned on, a man came out, carrying a shotgun. The two made their way to the side of the pool, and Lily threw her shirt over her head and quickly pulled her skirt up._

"_What are you doing here? This is private property, not a swimming pool for horny teenagers!"_

"_I'm sorry sir, I'm afraid we got a bit lost, and then fell into your pool."_

_The man glared at Rufus, who tried to keep an innocent face on. Lily bit her tongue, trying her best not to die from embarrassment, why did she have to put a white shirt on. She felt the eyes of the man travel over her body._

"_I'm really sorry sir, it'll never happen again. Goodbye!"_

_She quickly pulled Rufus along and the two ran away, back to the tour bus to find some dry clothes to wear._

Lily smiled at the memory. She couldn't remember another scene that had embarrassed her that much. But looking back, it started to get a little more amusing. Her cell phone cut through the silence, she searched through her handbag until she found it and looked at the caller ID. It was Bart again. She let out a deep sigh and picked up.

---

"Tiger Lily is that you?"

Serena turned around when she felt the hand on her shoulder, she looked into the eyes of an unfamiliar woman.

"I'm sorry do I know you?"

"Sorry, you just look a lot like a friend of mine, and I half expected her to be here tonight." Anna smiled at the girl in front of her. She could've sworn it was Lily when she approached her, but now she saw that this girl was a lot younger, and had longer hair. But if it had been twenty years ago, no one would've been able to tell the difference.

"Serena? We should probably head out."

"Yeah, okay, sure. Look I'm sorry ma'am."

"Dan? Little Danny? Well I'll be damned."

She hugged Dan close, not noticing the confused look on Serena's face."

"Aunt Anna, It's been so long! I didn't know you were with them on this tour?"

"Well Simon talked to one of the major sponsors, explained the 'situation' and here I am!"

"What kind of situation? Is there something wrong?"

"No, of course not, we just came up with a little white lie, I really didn't want to miss their tour."

Dan smiled at the woman in front of him " You haven't changed a bit." Then he remembered that Serena was still standing next to him.

"Serena, this is my Anna Fountain, Simon's wife. Me and Jenny always called her Aunt Anna. Aunt Anna, this is Serena van der Woodsen."

Serena held out her hand, "it's nice to meet you."

"It's nice to meet you too! I can't believe I didn't figure it out before: you're Lily's daughter!"

Serena looked at the other woman, "Well my mom's name is Lily, if that's what you mean."

"You look just like your mom when she was your age, did anyone tell you that?"

"Really? You knew my mom?"

Anna laughed, "Oh everyone knew Tiger Lily, she was the one told me I'd once marry Simon in the first place."

Dan and Serena spoke up at the same time "That was her?" "My mom is Tiger Lily?"

"She never told you about that? Well why don't we sit down at the bar, I think that there is a lot we have to catch up on."

Still a bit stunned, but also very curious Serena and Dan followed Anna to the bar, when she was about to begin her tale, Jenny and Eric joined them. The introductions followed again and Jenny hugged her aunt.

"Alright, I'll start from the beginning. I met Lily somewhere in the first half of the 80's"

"Anna-belle, what did we agree on?"

The five looked over their shoulder, with innocent looks on their faces.


	5. Saya Lida part 2

**Chapter 5: Saya Lida part 2**

"_Anna-belle, what did we agree on?"_

_The five looked over their shoulder, with innocent looks on their faces._

Anna sighed in relief and hit the person behind her.

"God Simon, you scared me. I hate it that you can imitate her voice that well."

"I don't think Lily would want you to corrupt her children." He gave her a stern look. Serena and Eric began to protest, saying that their mother wouldn't have any problem with it. but Jenny cut them off.

"If you can't tell them, why don't you tell us. Our dad wouldn't have a problem with it." She smiled innocently. Anna smirked. "See Si, I can't disagree with that logic."

He sighed and sat down with the others. To make sure that his wife wouldn't exaggerate the facts. Because he knew she would.

–

Lily looked through the windows. After Bart's call she'd ended up here again. He'd cancelled on her, again. And somehow she'd ended up here. Again.

From her spot behind the windows she could see her children laughing with Anna, Simon and Rufus' kids. But no Rufus. Not anywhere.

She backed away from the window. She couldn't go in there now, her children would want to know why she came. Wonder why she wasn't with Bart. Jump to conclusions, and she wasn't ready for any of that.

The sound of her heels on the sidewalk was all she heard. No thoughts interrupting the silence, and not another person in sight. The clicking of her heels was joined by the sound of heavy breathing, and quick footsteps, coming nearer every second. She increased her steps. Hoping to create some distance between herself and the person who seems to follow her. But she failed. She thought about running, but instead decided to look behind her first.

She gasped in shock. It was Rufus. She hadn't even realized that he hadn't been with the others. There was no chance of trying to dodge him this time. She knew that he knew that she'd seen him. With a sigh she stopped and turned around, watching him as he stopped in front of her. Breathing heavily from his run.

"Rufus, what are you doing here?"

"Shouldn't .. I .. be the one.. asking you that?"

"I wanted to visit the villa again. See if it was still there."

"Right." He looked at her, disbelievingly. Lily tried to keep her eyes locked with his. Knowing that looking away would tell him she'd lied.

"Aren't you supposed to be playing some kind of gig right now?"

"It's already done, but you already saw that didn't you." She tried to hide her surprise, he'd seen her watching through the window? Why hadn't he stopped her sooner then?

" You saw me?"

"Kind of hard to miss, you were the only one peeking through the windows."

"I wasn't peeking."

"You were, Lil, don't deny it." Lily gave an exaggerated sigh.

"Fine, so if I was."

"Why didn't you come in?"

Lily rubbed her arms, trying to warm herself up. Rufus noticed and led her further, towards a very familiar place. Lily gave him a look that clearly said: you've got to be kidding me.

"You were the one who brought this place up."

He held the door of the villa open. They walked through the lobby of the hotel and sat down in the small bar/restaurant. For a while, they just sat there. Her, watching her hands, trying to avoid the conversation she knew would follow. Him, watching her, trying to catch her eyes, trying to get her to open up to him again. Just like she used to.

She opened her mouth, and he waited for her to begin her explination. But then the waiter interrupted them.

"Can I get you anything to drink or eat?"

"Scotch, make that two." Lily looked at him for confirmation, he nodded, inwardly cursing the waiter for showing up when he did. Lily followed the waiter with her eyes when he walked away again.

"Lil."

"Oh all right, I was bored, and Bart stood me up. Again. And I knew you were playing here. I just wondered if everything was still the same as it was back then."

He grinned at her, now that she'd began her explanation, there was no stopping her. Words were coming out like a flood. And no dam in sight to stop her. He let her rant for a while, amusing himself by watching her face heat up and seeing her getting all worked up. He smiled when he caught himself not even paying attention to what she was saying anymore.

Some things never changed.

The silence snapped him out of his thoughts. She was looking at him expectingly.

"Sorry, what did you just say?"

"Honestly Rufus, do you ever listen to what I'm saying?"

"It's not my fault you can't stop talking like a school girl."

She huffed, and leaned back in the chair. Sometimes, he annoyed her so much. And this was definitely one of those times.

"I asked why you followed me."

"Because I wanted to know why you were here."

"Right."

They fell into an uncomfortable silence. Neither knowing what to say, both very happy when the waiter brought their drinks. Rufus finally broke their silence by asking if she knew what time it was.

"Almost two thirty."

"I've got to head back, they'll wonder where I went and we still have to finish putting our instruments and the other things away."

"Don't you have roadies for that?"

"Nope, they all quit years ago, now those groupies. Those are the ones we can't seem to get rid of."

Lily gave him a fake laugh. "Well aren't you funny. Tell you what. You head back, and I'll pay our bill and book myself a room. I'm too tired to go back tonight."

"Don't, put it on my tab. Room 22." She nodded and stood up, and with a 'Goodnight, Rufus,' she headed for the bar to finish things up.

Rufus smiled on his way back to the others. After all these weeks, he'd finally caught her, finally talked to her. And you know what? It was like nothing had changed, not even after 20 years.


	6. New York part 1

**_So this story is coming to an end. I was working on the last chapter and then I finally realised that I hadn't even posted this one yet. So I'm really sorry for the long wait.  
There will be one more chapter after this one.. Enjoy!_**

**Chapter 6: New York, part 1.**

After six long weeks, Lincoln Hawk finished their tour, they'd just wrapped it up yesterday with a performance in New York. Without Lily this time. Rufus had looked for her in the crowd, hoping he'd see her blonde hair next to Anna. But he hadn't.

Tonight was an afterparty in the loft, all the band members and their significant others were present, it had become some kind of tradition over the years. To make sure the kids wouldn't hear something their parents didn't want them to find out they'd been banished from the loft. Most of the kids were young enough to stay at home with sitters. But Dan and Jenny were convinced with some extra cash and a hint to go see a movie with some friends.

They'd taken Serena and Eric with them. They'd been hanging out more and more lately, just the four of them. Luckily for Eric and Jenny, Serena and Dan weren't too big on PDA, that would've been too weird for any of the siblings.

---

"Tiger Lily!"

Lily winced at the slightly slurring voice coming from the other side of the line.

"You have to come to our after-tour party at Rufus'. The whole gang is here!"

"Anna-belle, I think I'm going to pass on this one."

"Noo you have to come. Please? Pretty please with a cherry on top?" Lily fought back a smile, she knew her friend was pouting on the other side.

"Stop pouting, I'm not coming."

"Fine. But don't complain when you've missed one of our old fashioned sing along contests."

"Oh no I won't." Lily disconnected the call. Those sing alongs were actually quite funny. If you weren't the one doing it, but thanks to her wonderful best friend, she'd been singing along to quite a few songs over the years.

She wondered around the house. Even with her own art it still didn't feel like home. It was all a bit foreign to her, the surroundings didn't give her that homely feeling. She'd ended up in front of Bart's study. She could see the light coming from underneath it and hear his voice from the other side. He was talking to someone. When she caught a familiar name, she stopped and leaned closer to the door to follow the entire conversation.

"Do you think you can find another tour for that band, what's it called, Lincoln Hawk? I know you just sent them on a six week tour, but can't you find them something else. Across the border, preferably. I want no interruptions of a has been rock star for this week that I planned for Lily."

On the other side of the door Lily gasped. He'd arranged it all. Sent Rufus across the country to keep him away from her. He didn't trust her. She listened at the door again.

"And can you get me those details about last weekend. I want to know what she's been up to, did you have to do some damage control?"

The disappointment in her husband turned to anger, how dare he talk about her like that. Like she was some kind of child that needed to be controlled and taken care of. How dare he have someone follow her around everywhere. He might be her husband, but that doesn't give him the right to her whereabouts every single second of the day.

Unable to take it any longer she stormed into his study. Eyes blazing as she saw him sit behind the desk. The surprise in his face quickly disappeared.

"I'll call you later."

Bart quickly disconnected the call. Bracing himself for the anger of his wife. But he got the cold treatment instead. Her voice steady, soft and calm.

"How dare you. What on earth gives you the right to let them follow me. Did you have them follow my children too?" When he didn't answer her she knew that she guessed right.

"How DARE you! Following me, I can live with. With difficulty, but I could do it. But my children, invading their privacy like that! You have absolutely no right to butt into their lives like that.

"I am their stepfather, I have every right. I just did something you should have done years ago, keep track of your children."

The sound of her hand slapping his cheek was very loud. The two faced each other. Standing strong opposite each other. The red handmark on Bart's face becoming more clear with every second.

"I want a divorce."

and with that, Lily walked out of his study, grabbed her coat and left the house. Outside, she wasn't sure what to do. She couldn't go back in, and there really was no place to go. Except, maybe..

She hailed a cab and stepped in, telling the driver where to go.

Maybe singing along wasn't such a bad thing for tonight.


	7. New York part 2

**_Alright everyone, this is the final part. _****_Enjoy!_**

_**Thanks to everyone who read, reviewed, added this story to their story alert or favourites, this last chapter is for all of you!**_

* * *

**New York, part 2**

Lily climbed the stairs, and with every step, the muffled sounds from the loft became louder. And with every step she was able to identify a few more voices. When she stopped in front of the door, she could clearly hear a version of Bruce Springsteen's Dancing in the Dark that almost made the glass in the door burst.

She didn't even have to open the door to realize who it was. It had to be Sam. When they were on tour, the others wouldn't even allow him to sing Happy Birthday, because in Rufus' words: 'No birthday could be happy after suffering to a hell like that.'

When she finally crossed the threshold it was like she stepped 20 years back in time. Only a few faces looked up when she entered.

"Tigerlil', you came!"

Anna embraced her and Lily could smell the alcohol on her breath. From over her friends shoulder she smiled at the others, meeting their faces one by one. Trying not to let her look linger on Rufus'.

Anna pulled her along to the couch, handing her a bottle. She wasn't sure what was in it, but she didn't care. It was just like old times. Drinking and hanging out.

God, she missed this.

Half a bottle later, Lily was standing alongside Anna, preforming their version of the Stray Cats' She's Sexy and 17. Encouraging shouts from the guys made them continue with their own song, Lillian Egypt. From the corner of her eye she saw that Rufus had picked up his own guitar and was strumming along with their singing. Lily grabbed Anna's hand and the two of them sat down on either side of him, letting him take the lead.

His voice had always been better anyway.

Several other songs followed, everyone putting their two cents in. Somewhere in their medley of Nine Inch Nails songs the door of the loft opened again. Rufus' childeren entered, followed by her own.

At first they didn't seem to notice a thing, they were discussing something, intensely.

"Hey guys, how was the movie?" Rufus broke their discussion.

"Sucked", "waste of time", "I loved it", "It was okay". With every opinion one of the kids dropped on the couches. When Serena and Eric noticed her, they threw her a strange look. Lily just raised her glass to her lips, the bottle had been replaced a while ago, and returned their look with one that told them they'd hear about it later.

Simon broke the silence that followed their statements with a "Good to know." he turned to Jake "Jake remember that movie we saw? The one we mocked for ages. You thought the redhead was hot?"

"Oh I remember that, you had that song in your head for the next two weeks."

"Tell me about it, I hate that song." Simon groaned.

"Care to tell us which song?" Lily didn't remember the event, it had probably happened after she'd left.

"It was that movie about 5 kids in detention."

"The Breakfast Club! I love that movie!" Serena's face lit up, "Remember mom, we used to watch that when dad was away on his businesstrips."

"Oh I remember that one."

Anna started humming a song, Simon groaned as he pushed a pillow to his ears. "No, please, not that song!"

Anna grinned, and looked at Lily, the two of them started singing, loudly. Quickly joined by the others as Simon crawled further in his corner of the couch. The kids looked at each other and at the adults. Dan and Jenny were a bit more used to the antics of this group, but to see Lily van der Woodsen, no Lily Bass act like this along with them was something they never expected.

Unfortuntately for the children, their parents started to tell some of their early adventures. From the time Dan wanted to be a dog, Serena and Blair had played dress up with Eric to Jenny's princess days. But luckily for them, their parent's friends had some stories for them too. Some even with details they really didn't want to know.

As it turned later, Lily felt the alcohol starting to kick in, her head getting heavier every minute. She rested her head on Rufus' shoulder, and felt his arm sneak its way around her waist.

He kissed the top of her head and she smiled lazily as she looked around the room. Everyone she loved in the same room, Serena talking to Anna, Eric and Jenny learning a drum solo from Sam and Dan talking to Simon about his plans to become a writer and his recently published story. She felt a pair of eyes on her and she turned her head a bit, Rufus was looking at her as if he was trying to figure out what she was thinking.

She smiled at him and snuggled a bit closer.

For the first time in ages, she felt like she was home again.

**The End**

–

_**This is my first finished story, and I'm very proud of myself for it. Anyway, every song, movie mentioned isn't mine. Obviously.**_

_**I hope everyone liked it and I might post another one of my Gossip Girl stories soon. It's a bit late for that post ep I planned. But I don't care ;-)**_


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